Happy news!

I am now one step closer to my writing dreams! Two days ago, my article on air-purifying houseplants for the blog of an online wellness magazine went live. Seeing my work published somewhere else other than on this blog is indeed gratifying and the joy is beyond description. Okay, it is not an earth-shattering kind of literary work which I have always dreamed of, but I am immensely thankful nonetheless for the chance given to me. And turth be told, I enjoyed writing every single word of it. Another affirmation that it's the journey that matters.

So yeah, I can officially call myself a contributor now! *beaming*

So do pop over to the website and find out what amazing plants help to cleanse toxins from your indoor air. Go now. You know you want to. :)

Winter

Winter. It spins me round and round with its icy fingers and then tosses me carelessly into its winter slump. All I want to do is hibernate and eat, hibernate and eat. But then in order to eat, I have to bloody cook! Poof! There goes my hibernation dreaming...

Winter. Cut to the bone coldness which spells one of the most exciting part of the season: change of wardrobe! Time to dig out those warm and cushiony jackets/coats, chunky woolly scarves, boots, boots and boots! All manner of it! Long boots, riding boots, ankle boots, biker boots, cowboy boots, fur-lined boots, slouchy boots.... I get heady just listing them. Where and how does one find that one perfect pair of boots? You don't. You buy a few pairs for different outfits and occasions. Just like the many dresses, sweaters, trousers, skirts, shirts you stash in your bursting cupboard. I present the same argument to the man. Even though he would not be persuaded, he grudgingly relented.

The quintessential casual-chic autumn statement

Winter. Despite the gloomy grey skyline, my face is beaming brightly because something exciting is brewing in the pipeline. I won't reveal the details just yet but I promise to do so when the time is right. So watch this space!

Winter. This year marks my turning four decades old in this Middle-earth. I hope the large numbers won't cause me to confuse reality with fantasy and be wise for a long time to come.

Photo credit: here

Tonic for the soul

I've been wandering on music desert recently that the soul is about to die of thirst. A raid for that droplet of water turned up a gem. An old gem which I used to be very fond of and still am because the words resonate especially with the maternal state in me.

And those outfits! Years later, they don't seem to go out of style and still manage to look fabulously modern. It must be the attitude wearing the clothes and not letting the clothes walk all over you.

 

A little post-holiday blah

Instead of writing regularly, I took off without a word on a month-long trip. Once home, the post-trip me was reeling from jet-lag and withdrawal symptoms of the lion city. Before I could pause to breath, the little one began her kindergarten while her second set of molars threaten to push through. Therefore, sleep has been rather wanting for all of us at home lately. So yes, it's been a crazy few weeks.

I can't believe I just said that, calling Germany my home. Or to be more precise, calling this little cosy pad my home. Singapore is where I was born and grew up in while Germany is where I start my family. The old familiarity and easy intimacy with my home country is of course undeniable the instant I touched down in Changi Airport. But, to be back in my own apartment, my own bed, my own bathroom and not living out of a suitcase, that is equally unbeatable too.

Talk about stuck between two worlds and the odd occasional feeling that I belong to both worlds and yet, at the same time, not belonging anywhere.

I'd rather be handsome than pretty

The hair was chopped off yesterday. It features such severe undercut which serves to further accentuate my already androgynous inclination that for a fleeting moment I contemplated a more feminine wardrobe to strike a balance. No sooner had the idea taken form than I disgustedly cast the stereotypical thought into the toilet bowl. Instead, these came to mind. Brogues. Shirts. Suit jackets. Tuxedos. Masculine pants. Tilda Swinton.

Photo credits: here

 

Fashion victim

What do you think?! I love how the different hues make my feet look so happy! And the best and fun part of it? Making a fuss over which toe gets which colour. Once the colours were sorted, my very own home manicure began. I am admittedly lazy when it comes to polishing my nails. This time was however a little different. It strangely became a source of enjoyment and I attacked my nails with such gusto that I was done within minutes! Pleased as punch with the results, these rainbow nails are certainly here to stay.

 

Of non-meat, treated meat and chest meat

It's everywhere. Anywhere I turn, I see, read or hear people trying consciously to eat more healthily and be more aware of their food source. Many are either abstaining from meat, are vegans or raw foodies. My admiration for them is undeniable. The commitment and the determination to be green despite having to constantly deal with weird looks from waiters and strangers and having to explain time and time again the reason behind it, all requires immense strength. It is especially difficult when family members, friends or partners do not understand why the sudden drastic change of diet. Hence, hats off to these brave souls!

Having said that, I am probably one of those sad unconverted, an almost-extinct species which is adamant in chomping down high fat, high protein, highly processed food and succumbing wilfully to food cravings while shoving the thought of diet-related diseases to the dark dusty alley of my mind. I am such a fast food junkie that I need my shot of burgers, fries, nuggets on a regular basis to obtain that sugar high, no matter if it is a placebo effect or not. Yes yes, it is all quite contradicting to my recent obsession of getting rid of cottage cheese skin. But I obstinately cling to the outdated motto: live to eat.

Speaking of imperfect body, I finally watched Atonement the other day. A vision of green, Keira Knightly was absolutely stunning in her flowing emerald charmeuse. What affected me most was seeing a celebrity unafraid and unabashed to flaunt her flat chested state to the public. It's a rather refreshing sight as opposed to the now-accepted norm of huge breasts and cleavages. I must say I, as a fellow flat chested sista, feel somewhat comforted and reassured by her courage. Being flat chested has never been as celebrated as the well-endowed, causing some females to feel inadequate and less feminine. Even a definition for such a seemingly innocent term whiffs of prejudice, 'A chest in which the anteroposterior diameter is less than the average.' We just can't please everyone now, can we?

Photo credit: here

Feeling the summery mood despite the scorching heat

Summery weather calls for sunny colours. Not too long ago, I chanced upon a cheerful medley of nail colours in a fashion magazine (not unsimilar to the one below) and I've been musing ever since if I would be bold enough to pamper my pallid nails with these pretty hues. The purposeful musing seems eager to end its job when I caught myself searching for pops of colours in the little beauty compartment in the bathroom and found none! I am really an earth tone person. That immediately ensued a mental note to self to get some new shades in the stores. Alas! It appears I will soon fall victim to yet another fashion fad. Not ungrudgingly though, if I may add.

Photo credit: here


 

Highlights of the day

Headlining the technical front: iOS5

Finally dug out the dusty dinosaur that is our rusty laptop, started up the squeaky machine and crossed our wrinkled fingers the upgrade would work. It did and we could finally start breathing again. I need time though to get acquainted with some of the new features. But for now, I am quite excited about the iMessage.

Headlining the writing front: A stab in the heart

With the upgrade, several drafts saved in a blogging app meant for submission all vanished into thin air. Hours of mental labour and best efforts to squeeze out from my heart colorful lyrical words which faintly smell of publishable worthiness. All wiped out in the name of convenience, comfort, fast and faster.

Oh, my bleeding heart! Thou shalt not ache because thou wilt write anew!

Pep talk to myself

The head was groggy from the nap and I was busy wiping the sleep from my eyes when the electrifying rejection jumped at me, stupefying me into a brief wide-awakeness which immediately dissipated once I've registered the blow. I slumped. For a while, I couldn't seem to shake the cobwebs off my head.

His exact words were, 'The premise here doesn't reel me in enough.' As much as it's his kindest rejection so far, it still feels like a punch in the face and deflates the ever shrinking ego. Not that it's unexpected. In fact, I'm rather spot on that I would receive a reply today and it's most probably going to be a no. The silver lining is he has at least read the whole piece from start to end and thankfully it no longer belongs to the this-is-not-a-good-fit category. I like to think it's a positive far cry from my very first crap piece which I suspect the editor didn't even bother to finish reading after the first sentences and of course it wasn't a good fit, as he called it.

Ok, I am groping wildly for a lifeline, however fragile it may be, to keep the pride afloat in this rough and challenging waters. Lately, I cant help but imagine the editors wondering perplexingly to themselves, 'Who the hell is this unknown who incessantly spams my inbox with her less-than average submissions?' They, friends included, may think I have, for want of a better word, overestimated my own abilities (不自量力). And they could be right. Like you, I am just a mere mortal who suffers from emotional insecurities every now and then and who cares immensely about how other people perceive me.

While these emotions are very real and I will not try to repress them and pretend they do not exist, it is also vital that I do not hand them any chance to shackle my feet and to prevent my recovery from the smallest defeat and from moving forward with my dreams.

No, I will not give up.