Mrs Miller

On my msn messenger is a picture of Wentworth Miller, the prison break heartthrob who woos many of his fans with his brooding good looks. I got this one day when I was chatting to a recently acquainted s'pore friend on msn:

She: Who is that guy on the picture? Is he your husband?

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... I Wish!!!!!! It's silly but she certainly made my day that day.

The joy of reciprocated love

I saw this clip on someone's blog and I am stealing it.

Our Selfishness

One day my German teacher brought up a topic for us to discuss in class: if you had the money, would you buy a fur coat and why. My immediate response was a resounding no. Think of those poor animals being slaughtered just for human vanity. To my shock, my classmates do not think likewise. For your info, our class consists of me, a Turkish lady and the rest are Russians. The Turkish lady would very much like a fur coat but she would rather not wear it out on the streets for fear of receiving unwelcome stares or even attacks. The Russians have no qualms about having one and wearing it out. It is utterly normal to them. I was incensed! I argued fur coats are merely a luxury and not a necessity. Animals do not need to die because of our want for luxury. During my 'speech', I felt so upright and righteous to have stood up for the poor animals. I looked at my classmates with different eyes and couldn't stop shaking my head, thinking, 'You cruel Russians!'

On the other hand, I was lucky no one broached the subject on shark's fins. Since young till now, I love shark's fin soup to death. How would my classmates look at me if they knew I eat shark's fins? I would be called a 'heartless Chinese!', that's for sure. Abruptly, my uprightness and righteousness vanished into thin air. I am such a half-fucked animal rights activist.

The conclusion of my teacher at the end of the discussion: 'This is all due to our different cultures.' It is not the answer to everything but at least it consoles me a little.

The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?

Abort Plan

What with mooncakes, chicken curry (with tons of coconut milk), fatty roast pork (a success considering my first attempt!), cheesy pasta, fried rice and fried noodles being incorporated in our diet in the last few days, plus binging out silly at Mr R's cousin's hubby's 40th birthday bash last night, I can almost feel my heart beating slower with its burden of fats coursing down my veins. To make matters worse, I have been sitting on my arse in the past days, watching american series and movies online. I literally swear off watching them on german tv because somehow it is never the same when they are not in their original language. Hence I was (still am) watching them like no tomorrow, making up for lost time and before the website is taken off from the net.

Anyways, I decided, enough is enough. It's time to do something about our diet. We better try to eat healthier though we would not go the extreme way of detoxing by eating only fruits and veggies for days straight because I will for sure faint on myself after just 1 day. First day of my diet plan which is today, mushrooms salad with bread rolls for lunch and dinner. Right after my lunch, a small voice was nagging in my head, I am not full, I am not full! I tried very hard to dismiss it by occupying myself with, yes you guessed it, watching more american series. It helped for a while. An hour later, I asked Mr R if he was hungry. He replied no with a laugh. I bore up my hunger pangs for another few hours.

At last, dinnertime! Hastily, I washed my salad. I wasn't looking forward to just having the salad, honestly, but I was starving so anything goes. Perhaps it was heaven's will, the salad had gone all wilted. We bought it the day before, you see. Mr R suggested to throw it away as it was no longer good to eat. Just what I wanted to hear! Naturally he asked what's for dinner then. He didn't mind driving out to get takeaways. Just then MacDonald's ad came on. I lost all my will power and asked for burger.

While I was ravishing my burger as if I have not eaten for days, Mr R was teasing me about 'my healthy diet' attempt. I had to laugh at myself too. Shame on me! I didn't even last a day! As proven to me on several occasions, I can never survive on just greens or fruits. I know of some people who can! They are amazing. The truth is I am a carnivorous at heart and I should not deny my nature. I am satisfied and happy after my burger as compared to the grumpy me few hours ago. I live to eat. I am definitely no health queen freak. But of course, too much of anything is always bad. The key word here is restraint.

Backup plan: skip in the following days. My skipping rope is collecting dust in some corner, as we speak. I better wake up my bloody idea tomorrow and move that arse off the couch.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
- Mark Twain

Young Presidents-To-Be

An English film was coming on tv tonite which is very rare in Germany. Hence no matter what I had to stay up to watch it. Since the movie didn't start till late, I resorted to surfing the channels and stuffing myself with mooncakes. I came upon this documentary about primary school students in China. What stopped me from switching the channel was these 2 young boys debating in front of their class if the current class monitor should or should not remain in power. Now, let's call the current class monitor George and the challenger Barack. Barack was arguing that George used authoritative methods on his classmates during his term. Such methods were pulling classmates' sleeves, ordering them to behave etc which resulted their classmates being fearful of him. George retorted that fear induced respect and with respect, his classmates would obey him and his class would be the best and the most orderly one in the school. However, Barack continued to rebuke him the shortcomings of his dictatorship and ultimately George was left speechless.

The documentary then went on to show how the 2 boys, with the help of their parents, prepared their campaign speeches for the big election the next day. The big day came and Barack was the first to go. He impressed his voters with promises of democracy, efficiency and transparency. Next came George. He spoke with promises and visions like Barack. At the last instant before he left his centrestage, George had something up his sleeves: he presented small little cards to his little voters to mark the celebration of the Mid-autumn Festival. Everyone, especially the girls, screamed with delight how exquisite the cards were.

At last, it was time to count the votes. No prize for guessing who won the election. It was George of course. He won them over with his harmless bride.

These 10 year-old kids amaze me. I almost thought I was watching Bush and other presidential candidates campaigning for the election. These kids are way more intelligent than I was when I was 10. Instead of playing, they spend time agonising over class monitor elections and trying to stay ahead of their peers. Times have certainly changed. Children these days face the pressure of doing well in school. Failure in doing so might mean a lesser life than your peers who have excelled in school. Our society in this time and age demand such competitiveness in every aspect of our lives that even little children are not spared of it too. Nobody wants to be lagged behind. As a result, modern parents would send their offsprings to various courses to better their kids so that they have a competitive edge in the game. But for goodness sake, these kids are after all just kids. What happens to 'playing'? Do they not play anymore? Is it right that their childhood comprise mainly of studying and the pressure of conforming and excelling? What about a pure innocent playful childhood which helps form their individual characters and which they can recall fondly later in their adult lives?

In my childhood days, I didn't give a damn who would be my next class monitor. Who cares, as long as I get to play five stones, zero point or football with my classmates. The most important thing in my head then was play, watch tv and play again. Campaigning for class monitor? Huh? What?

Eh, perhaps too much playing as a child because I am now a bummer without a job.

Envy - one of the Seven Deadly Sins

Once upon a time, there lived a sheep on a green pasture near the ocean. Because she often roamed furthest away from her flock, she was called a outlier. With her anti-social behaviour, the outlier had naturally not much friends. Everyday she would wander away to graze on her own and ponder on her own thoughts.

One day, as Sheep was spacing out as usual, she heard an animal coming closer towards her. The outlier turned around and saw a mountain goat trotting towards her. The mountain goat had a smile on her face and the outlier was drawn to her at once. After a few exchange of words, the Sheep realised it was summertime and the mountain goats usually left their high-altitude habitats for mineral licks (in search of nutritional needs).

The outlier and Mountain Goat became fast friends. Sheep was impressed by her new friend because she seemed so worldly and Sheep felt she could learn a thing or two from her. The outlier would let on where to graze for the greenest grass, where to source for the freshest and sweetest water, where to catch the best dawn and sunset, where to find the best place to rest oneself and so on. Mountain Goat was grateful for the outlier's kindness and in return she would relate her adventures high up in the mountains and how to fight off aggressive fellow mountain goats or predators like bears. Many moons passed and Sheep was truly glad she had found a friend at last.

After the initial thrill of discovering each other wore off, the two friends went about their business as before; Sheep would graze on her own while Mountain Goat would explore this new place with her fellow mountain goats. Of course the 2 new friends would find time to catch up with each other every so often. Again many moons passed. Mountain Goat gradually became painfully aware that the 2 of them didn't have many common topics to engage in except in the subject of nutritional needs. The Goat was bored. She was badly in need of some fun which resulted in her spending lesser and lesser time in Sheep's company.

One day, Mountain Goat came trotting excitedly to the outlier and exclaimed in exhilaration she had discovered a pasture nearby with the sweetest grass. Together they rushed to the mentioned pasture. Already other sheeps and mountain goats were there to savour the temptingly sweet grass. Upon seeing Mountain Goat's approach, they begun to sing praises of how clever she was to have found such delicacy and how generous she was to share with everyone. Mountain Goat was very pleased with herself. However, she realised her friend, Sheep, was grazing quietly without a single word a distance away from them. It puzzled Mountain Goat a little but she was just too distracted by the enthusiasm of the others to dwell much on it.

Quite unexpectedly one day, something caught the attention of Mountain Goat: The Sheep was conducting herself in a similar way as the Goat, in the way Goat walked, talked and behaved. Nonetheless, the Goat didn't believe what she saw. She shook herself and blamed herself for being too sensitive. Days after, Mountain Goat couldn't help but continue to observe the outlier. By and by, she was certain it was not her sensitivity at work here but the Sheep was indeed trying to carry herself like the Goat. The Goat was in a perplexed state. She had no idea what to think of it....

Further and further drifted the 2 friends apart. After her discovery, Mountain Goat couldn't bear to be in the presence of the Sheep anymore. The Sheep sensed Goat's distance. Whether she knew why, she showed no signs of it. Sheep's pride also prevented her from bridging the now-widen gap between them.

Moons passed. Green leaves turned to shades of yellow and fell from the trees. The landscape was filled with all sorts of gold. The sheeps and mountain goats planned an excursion to a nearby hill to view the beautiful, golden autumn around them before the goats leave in a few weeks time. Gaily they set off for the hill. Mountain Goat caught a glimpse of the Sheep in a distance and gave her a weak smile. They haven't spoken for months now.

Later, after the oohs and ahs over the fantastic scenery, some started grazing while others just lazed around. Mountain Goat was minding her own business when she casually looked up and caught the Sheep watching her. The Goat was startled by that look. She couldn't put her finger on what the outlier's look meant. Goat mulled it over the whole night and the whole of next day. It finally dawned on her: it was a look of envy. Goat was even more baffled, why the envy? She mulled it over again the whole of next night and day. The rational Goat eventually figured it out that perhaps Sheep had insecurity problems or that she might be discontented with her life. Hence, she would tend to be competitive and could not be happy for her friends if they did better than her. Admittedly, the Goat was always charming and more popular than the Sheep amongst the other animals, the Goat was handsome with her long black horns and her full woolly white coat, she was also very sophisticated and was able to dispense clever advices. Perhaps these were the roots of Sheep's envy. Such conclusions saddened the Goat because more often than not, envy or jealousy tended to ruin friendships. Even so, Goat knew it wasn't her fault to be who she was and she shouldn't feel apologetic about it. Somehow it reminded her of an old friend which was also suffering from the same problems and it was simply too draining to remain friends with her. The Mountain Goat certainly didn't need another one in her life again. She would rather be without friends.

With downcast eyes, Mountain Goat decided it's high time for her to leave and go back home in the mountains.