Thursday, September 24, 2009

Au naturel

While going through my emails at work early this morning, I noticed something about me was amiss. I looked down at myself and discovered with horror that during the mad rush this morning, I forgot to wear a bra!!!!

I glanced around hastily to make sure I did not alarm anyone. I did not.

Instinctively I hunched and crossed my arms over my chest despite having a vest over my t-shirt. Not that I have breasts which are so in-your-face. Rather you can christen them as small dumplings or char siew baos because they are very inconspicuous.


Even so, I couldn't help feeling self-conscious about it.

The entire day I walked with a hunch or attempted to cover my bosom with files or papers when moving about.

My female colleagues cracked up when told of my plight. And to my surprise, even agreed that they would too feel ill at ease. One would even go to the great length of driving home for her brassiere.

And I thought the ang mohs were more liberated?!

Well, I am not a prude who does not leave home without her bra. There are clothes in the wardrobe which require me to go braless. Not a big deal as long as I am prepared for it since indecent exposure is not exactly my cup of tea.


Actually I would prefer to go braless anytime simply for comfort and health reasons. Though it's a no-no at the workplace unless carefully camouflaged.

Later on I related the trivial incident to the man. He looked pointly at my chest and shrugged, 'No difference.'

Ouch!


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Is contentment a moral laziness?

Some people might have the inspiration since young to be a rock star and hope to wake up one day as the coolest rock band on Earth instead of with shitty hair like Thom Yorke.

While the only challenge of a rock star is to write great music so that suckers like us will idolize them like gods, their biggest perk is also to trip a great deal in order to produce great music so that suckers like us will worship them like the devil.

The days of our rock stars' lives are filled with glitz and glamour. While the lives of us earthlings are filled with mundane decisions like what to do with our mortal lives and to deliberate on intelligent questions like where do we see ourselves in the next 5 years.

Right now my most pressing question is however what's more important: to be challenged or to stay contented?

Like I've said before, challenges are absent from the work front thus presently I feel like I am drowning in stale waters, urgently in need to come up for a breath of fresh air. Putting the office politics and the strange ways of the management aside, there is really nothing else for me to whine about.

The man remarked that I have it all too good till now, therefore, I need to kick up a fuss to spice up my life a little. I do not know whether to laugh or to cry at that observation. But who knows, he could well be right.

And then NW quipped, 'How old liao. No strength to climb that stupid ladder man'.

This is not about climbing the corporate ladder either. I am way past that phase. My reasoning is if there is no more personal growth or since I am not learning new stuff from the work anymore, isn't it pointless for me to remain? Whatever happen to job satisfaction and fulfillment?

Or should I be a meek lamb and wait for fate to decide what's in store for me?

In the self-development department, I am pleased to say in my first years here I've acquired a new language, overcome my aquaphobia and picked up swimming, refreshed my driving skills and can now cook to feed hungry mouths.


These may well be small feats to others but to me those were actual survival challenges which I had to overcome to fit into this society.

I refuse to lag behind and be an obsolete human.

And then I also started a new blog to chase those boredom blues away. My writing maybe amateur but I doubt anyone suffers nosebleed from following my blog. Or do you?

In other words, I have grown quite abit, haven't I?

Honestly, it just boils down to my fears of being an obsolescence. Which explains my compelling need to keep exploring new things and to evolve so as not to fall into the complacent trap and be a passè.

My most pressing question is self-answering.


Friday, September 11, 2009

Lull before the storm

The impromptu trip during the summer was a fabulous one. It was almost perfect except...

In the silence of the night, the vicinity of the hotel transformed itself into an orchestra of dissonant sounds. The bang of a door, the footfall of guests returning to their rooms, a tap turned on, a flush of the toilet, a running shower, muted conversations and laughter and best of all, moaning from fornications. To go into a deep slumber was quite a challenge there.

Then the man and I both fell ill and were sick-abed for one whole day. Though I admit I was rather glad to be able to catch up on some sleep after the restless nights.

Despite the slight dampers, the trip was an orgy of senses with an unique play of colours of the breathtaking landscape. We are smitten with Santorini and I was most reluctant to leave and go back to the real world.

The holiday ended with a brimful of lull in my mind that eventually spills over into the whole of my being. Which explains my absence in this space.


Okay lah, simply put, I was slacking.

The breather prompted me to face a crossroad which has been lurking in the shadows even before my vacation began. I think I am too chicken-shit to choose a path and walk it down, fearful of the consequences my decision would bring and unsure if I am tough enough to bear them.

But I know as long as the choice is not made, I can never be at peace with myself.


I need strength and wisdom.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Rendang = Messy Kitchen and Burnt Sunday

The aftermath of my ambitious undertake of making the dish from scratch was a battlefield waiting to be cleaned up.

I cannot be modest anymore especially when my Sunday is burnt slaving over the stove.

My reward is a heart-stopping, artery-clogging, authentically and sinfully delicious beef rendang.

Will I do it again? Oh definitely. But not so soon. I need to recuperate first. :D