Material girl

I am hanging my head in shame. I have been a bad bad girl lately. Rather than spending my limited free time wisely when the cherub naps, I got caught up with the greed demon, Mammon. All these newsletters bombarding my inbox, announcing their sale season has begun, successfully ignited the dormant desire to possess worldly gains.

Hitting the stores in Stuttgart hasn't been happening that frequently for a long while now. Which fully explains my latest preoccupation in the comfort of my couch: shopping online.

In contrast to traditional shopping, online shopping is way more addictive and for a few moments there, I panicked and wondered if I have turned into a compulsive online shopper. Let's just say spending every second of my spare time everyday browsing those online shops doesn't sound exactly sane.

In my vain and shallow attempt to be hip, trendy, be a fashionista or whatever you call it these days, it's not helping when the many loots arrived and I discovered I don't really need those items. How many brogues, dresses, skirts, sweaters, cardigans does one need actually? Not that I am that IT girl whose social calendar is filled to the brim thus a different getup everyday is a requisite. I am just an ordinary mortal so of course I don't need so many of these glad rags. My wardrobe is already bursting with you-know-what that the man quipped it's high time I do some spring cleaning. Mammon is obviously working its psychological urge of 'I want, I want, I want!' here.

But sadly for Mammon, I am ruled by Capricorn's ruling planet, Saturn. The strict composure and self-control of Saturn has got my good sense back. I am sending most stuff back except for one, two items. Talk about wasting time. Heh.

With arms wide open

Heard this old number at the hairdresser today. Listening carefully to the words gave me goosebumps all over. Very aptly, it conveys our exact sentiments of ardour, wonderment, fear and self-questioning.

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I close my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything

With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything ...oh yeah
With arms wide open..wide open

If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

I'll show you everything..oh yeah
With arms wide open....wide open

The day our lives changed

Friday night. Interview with The Vampire was on telly. I usually would stay away from any dubbed films because I find it weird watching or rather, listening to the strange German voice-over which somehow or rather is gonna bastardize the original sense of the film in some ways.

But it IS Interview with The Vampire. One of my fav films. Hence, despite the flinching and eye-rolling, I sat glued to the small screen. When Tom Cruise was back again and going on and on about giving Christian Slater the second chance he never had, I took my cue and got ready for bed, unaware that this particular night had something up its sleeves for me. For us.

Feeling wetness between my legs in the middle of the night, I woke up and hurried to the loo, embarrassed that I might have peed in my sleep. After a few checks, I wasn't so sure anymore. Did my water just break? Yes yes, I am talking about the impending arrival of our precious cherub. Ten months ago, to be exact.

I peeked at the watch. 4am. I woke the man.

The man: Huh?
Me: I think my water broke. (That seemed to drive away all the sleep from his eyes.)
The man: Are you sure?
Me: I dunno but I think we should go to the hospital just to be sure.

We made haste to freshen ourselves up, change, grab the bag and hop into the car. Despite the rush, we were both surprisingly calm. For a reason. We half expected to be told it's a false alarm and we'd be sent home in no time.

Of course we were wrong.

My water indeed broke but there were no contractions. That means no real action for the moment until the labour pain started. So we waited.

I was warded naturally in the delivery ward. Not such a great idea. Imagine the screaming, howling, moaning, shrieking of the other preggers in labour all coming at you while you tried to wait in peace and calm. Peace and calm, my ass! The stomach was in million knots, the hands clammy, the breathing short, the mind in turmoil: Would I be tough enough to go through what these women are going through? I was seriously SCARED.

The cherub however was in no hurry to make any appearance. But other babies seemed to have a different idea. The ward was filled up so quickly that day I had to be moved to the normal ward to play the waiting game. Phew, no more screaming to add to the already mounting anxiety.

We waited and waited. The poor man was so exhausted from lack of sleep. Yet he stayed by my side all the while (except for loo and ciggy breaks), not wanting to miss out anything.

By Saturday evening, the contractions still didn't wish to rear their heads. Back in the delivery ward, the doc decided to give me an injection to induce the labour. With bated breath, the contractions gradually began. The initial labour pain was tolerable as I was still able to walk along the corridor as advised by the midwife. With the help and support of the man, I walked with gritted teeth when waves of contractions came and went...

I had no idea how long the walk lasted and there I was, already lying on the bed in the room. With waves of excruciating labour pain hitting me over and over again and the intervals becoming shorter and shorter, I lost awareness of the comings and goings around me. The man tried to make the pain bearable by massaging me. I pushed his hands away. I just needed to hold on to him and clawed at him while in pain. He, meanwhile was beside himself for not able to be of help to me in any way. But like I reassured him afterwards, his presence and moral support was more than enough for me.

I was kicking myself for not saying yes when the midwife asked earlier if I needed epidural. It didn't hurt that bad then. Her timing was way off lah! Why couldn't she ask me like much later and I would have immediately said yes. I wanna punch her! Oh yes, you wanna punch everybody when you were in my shoes. Silently, I kept asking myself (no more strength left to even talk!) how long more will this be? I can't take it anymore. Just give me a shot or just KILL me and put me out of this misery right now!!! I don't wanna give birth anymore! Ow ow ow x infinity!

I moaned, screamed, cried, howled, shrieked like I never did before in my whole life!

Finally I was led into the delivery theater. Now the pushing began. The labour pain had in fact zapped out every ounce of energy in you and yet you were still expected to use whatever trace of strength left in your body to push, push and PUSH! Apart from the breathing method, it is not unlike taking a dump. You just had to push harder. A lot, a lot, A LOT harder than even when you were constipated. At some point, I thought the blood vessels in my brain were going to explode any second from all the pushing and screaming. And with no more intervals now, the radiating pain kept coming and coming and coming...

In the midst of it all, I vaguely heard the midwife saying to the doc, 'A little tight, isn't it?' The next thing I knew was the doc making a cut at my down-there. In case you are wondering, the cut was nothing at all compared to the labour pain. In a heartbeat, a warm gush slipped out between my legs. All the din in my head ceased. The contractions stopped. Followed by a silence. I was a tad bewildered and looked around me. The wailing ensued soon after. That's when I realized that warm gush was my little one. I have given birth to my daughter.

I always thought I would cry when they hand me my baby. I didn't surprisingly. When I first held her, I thought (still think) she's the most beautiful thing in the world. She enchanted me, us. We couldn't take our eyes off her.

A total of 9 hours of labour pain and now we are a family of three. A mommy friend once said, all the pain is worth it once you hold your baby in your arms. How true.

The cherub is quite simply our pride and joy. The warm rush of love we have for her is never-ending. We will never trade her for anything else in the world. We are very happy to have her in our life and will do anything for her.

She is our gem.

An apple a day

Woohoo! I finally got hold of the new iPad 2 many days back after the long wait. And I must say I absolutely heart the gadget! It is sleek and sexy. It is incredibly light and fast. The graphics are superb. Watching movies is a pure joy. It feels great just holding it in my hands. And of course I can use it as and when I like without having to wait forever for the slow start up like my lousy lappie.

I am a very happy peep.

Which also means I have been spending most of my free time playing with the toy. Books are left forgotten. Blog is not updated. The sleep becomes even more deprived. (I am really not complaining!) Online shopping has never been easier (and faster). And the man for the time being plays second riddle to the widget. Hahaha... Not that he is complaining lah. It is a gift from him after all. I think we both regard this latest tablet as my necessary evil. An irresistible necessary evil. Heh.

Fret not however, the cherub still remains the precedence over all things.

Blocked

Our cherub has been keeping us pretty busy all this while. After sort of settling down into a routine and I have somewhat a handle on my new role as a mummy, at long last I am able to breathe a little. And also find some pockets of time to properly sit down and blog.

But to my dismay, I quickly see that it is quite an effort now to gather those runaway thoughts and make up the mind on what I want to write about after such a long laspe. Needless to say, the writing skills have become rusty too.

Do give me time to chase after those thoughts and oil the squeaky mind gears.

On a different note, it's our wood anniversary today! How time flies by us so quickly! Amazing...

Back

Wish I could write like this. Reading the article fires up my desire to write again amidst the busy baby schedule. However, at the same time, it dawns on me yet again that it's either I have it or I don't.

And I have to admit I don't. The innate talent and aptitude for creative flowing writing.

Still the realization doesn't seem to somehow dampen my enthusiasm one bit. That's good news!

Anyways, it's good to be back.

The joy of being preggers

The insufferable smothering heat has its fingers wrapped around my throat, making the mere act of breathing in this suffocating heat a feat. Being out of the pad is quite unthinkable now.

After the haircut last Friday, the short walk in the torrid sun to meet the man at the Chinese restaurant proved to be too gruelling. Finally seated, my body was palpitating wildly. I felt faint and sick. I couldn't even finish a quarter of the food we ordered and had to leave in a haste after packing the food.

The little ordeal worn me out completely and I took a much needed nap. Thankfully that left me revitalized afterwards!

Few days later while preparing dinner, I suddenly broke out into cold sweat and was feeling faint. I scrambled for a chair to sit down, but this time not without the new bestie who is never out of my sight now. Namely, the fan. The cool cool breeze luckily brought sweet relief. And the blood sugar level was restored after the dinner and some shut-eye.

I had to find out what's wrong with me! A quick research on the net concludes that such symptoms are due to overheating and are not uncommon during pregnancy. Phew...

No wonder lah! Even sleep eludes me these days. The term good night's sleep is now as alien to me as the extraterrestrial. The killer summer heat is not the only culprit though. Heartburn, gastric pain, frequent loo visits, body itchiness, false contractions gladly play the accomplice's role too. Some nights, even the leg cramps turn up unexpectedly to join in the fun.

Now in the 38 weeks and 19kg heavier, the huge bump really does get in the way. Even simple acts which we usually take for granted such as bending or squatting down to pick a thing up is now too strenuous and often leave me breathless.

Still, I find these minor inconveniences and common pregnancy ailments rather bearable. The air-con-idolizing Singaporean in me however is incapable of tolerating the hot spell. The essential but welcoming cold shower at least twice a day to cleanse away the dull lethargy has become inevitable.

Thus I am curious how long I am gonna last when the traditional Chinese one-month house arrest beckons.

Trivia

Helmut Schmidt, former Chancellor of West Germany

Possibly the only person whose lighting up on German national TV is tolerated. I kinda like his unyielding wilful spirit despite the controversy surrounding his chain-smoking. They certainly didn't elect him as Chancellor for nothing.

Pork Kakuni with Scallop Congee - Failed!

Give me slabs of ribs, briskets, cuts from shoulder, butt, belly or shank anytime and I will be more than happy to immediately seek out recipes to braise, stew or simmer the essence out of these inexpensive yet yummy meat. Sure, who doesn't love that tender juicy piece of steak? In fact, I've been lusting after it for months now. I just need to be more patient for abit longer... But I can never refuse a melt-in-your-mouth braise or stew. No matter how blistering hot the weather is. It is quite simply an all-time favourite grub.

Another comfort food will be the congee. Don't be fooled by its plain and unpretentious glob of mass. If you put heart into cooking it and add in some soul ingredients like chicken broth and dried scallops, the fine flavour of this smooth creamy rice soup will bowl you over for certain.

So what do I do when a recipe that calls for slow braising of pork belly and congee was lurking on the net, waiting for me to uncover it and I did? It got my mouth watering and I decided to cook up a storm! But not without weeks of procastination. Let's just say 8 hours of braising, 2 hours of simmering and other preparations is not exactly what I have in mind to spend my day. Until the pig in me dreamt of the dish. Well, high time to gather all the necessary ingredients to satiate the glutton.

The enthusiasm was unmistakable when I finally got the ball rolling. I was eager to savour the fruit of my labour especially when the reviews were raving so much about it.

I couldn't rein in my impatience any longer as I was plating the belly and congee for some photos.

After flexing my half-assed photography skill, it was time for my sweet reward. Literally, because simmering in a little soy sauce, sugar and mirin (I do not have sake hence I substituted it with mirin) for 2 hours inevidently sweetened the belly a great deal, as I had initially feared. Call me frog in the well as I had absolutely no idea pork kakuni is supposed to be so sweet. When paired together, the overpowering sweetness of the pork simply predominated the subtle flavour of the congee.

On its own, the congee was perfect. Smooth and delicate. I could gobble up bowls of it. And that's how I am going to cook my congee in future, provided I am not too lazy.

The pork belly was in fact meltingly tender with little hints of fat as the long braising had rendered most of the fat away. But with such a long tedious process of preparing the meat, I had expected the ensuing result to blow me away with its bursting flavours. What a disappointing letdown when it did not!

Hmmm... Perhaps my indiscernible palate is incapable of appreciating this fine Japanese delicacy. I think the Chinaman in me would rather have the Tau Yu Bak (Braised Pork in Soy Sauce) anytime.

World Cup a-frenzy

Some people think it's silly watching 22 men chasing after a ball for 90 mins. But apparently there are many others who think otherwise. Or else why is the World Cup the most widely viewed sporting event in the world?

I can't recall from my sketchy memory when I began watching football. But growing up with the many uncles around me must have effected that influence on the then impressionable young me. While other girls were playing dressing up with their dolls, I was out dribbling football with the uncles. This skinny tanned little niece was undoubtly quite a tomboy in their eyes.

I do not usually follow the Premier League, La Liga, Serie A, or the Bundesliga but I certainly would not miss the World Cup.

The World Cup final in 1994 etched deeply in my memory. Like many Singaporeans, I was up in the wee hours to catch the match between Italy and Brazil. The game was scoreless through extra time. During the penalty shoot out, my fave footballer, Roberto Baggio, alas missed the final penalty kick which made Brazil the winner that year.

As Baggio hung his head with Brazil celebrating behind him, a dull heartache got hold of me and I laid sleepless that night. I couldn't get over the loss for days. It was as if I got dumped by a boyfriend!

I wondered then, 'How does one live with that?'

He answered that in his autobiography years later, '...it affected me for years. It's the worst moment of my career. I still dream about it. If I could erase a moment from my career, it would be that one.'

Well, that's football...

4 years ago, I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time when Germany hosted the World Cup. Though it was just the tiny Stuttgart city, the vibes were electrifying! A huge screen was erected in the park. German fans turned up in full force to support their country in one of the matches. Basking in the cheerful sunny weather with beer in our hands, the mood was a relax one. And when Germany won that match, all hell broke loose! Fans lined and blocked the streets singing, dancing and chanting, 'Berlin, Berlin, wir fahren nach Berlin!' The festive mood was absolutely infectious. No matter we were stuck in the car with tons of happy fans literally pushing the car from side to side, almost causing a concussion among us! We simply giggled merrily away! We were united as one that day because of our support for Germany. It was an incredible first for me.

In the Germany-Argentina match, the heart almost stood still when both teams went into penalty shoot out. The hands were clammy and the breathing shallow. We were in a sport hall with hundreds of fans. The silence in the hall was deafening. That changed minutes later when Germany won. The hall erupted into loud triumphant cheers and I was jumping up and down in joy, hugging the man and the friends. We were all sooo thrilled!!!! 'Is Germany unbeatable?', we couldn't help questioning ourselves silently that day.

But as Italy sealed our defeat with a second goal in the semi-final, the sheer disppointment was ringing loud and clear in our ears. Tears were shed. Including mine. The dull heartache returned. Once again for days, I couldn't get over the loss.

Well, that's football...

The heart hasn't been throbbing too much during this World Cup. Yet. In a few days, Germany and Argentina will meet again for a face off. I will be holding my breath.