Excuse me, are you a phantom?

I am hoping the motherhood juggernaut has not roll-moulded me into someone who loses herself and gets impossibly absorbed in the whole new world of parenting. You know, like the glitzy girlfriends you see on telly moaning incredulously over salad lunch about how a certain mommy-girlfriend disappears just because she had a new baby. Then again, even if I did turn into this said mommy-girlfriend persona, you won't see me apologizing or compensating for it. Why should I? The munchkins means the world to me.

A baby is hard work, no doubt, and consumes plenty of one's time. A regular day sees a sleep-starved me in a running-around-like-a-headless-chicken state of diaper-changing, feedings, cooking, more feedings, housekeeping, errand-running, mother-daughter bonding (read: mommy acting all comical, singing out of tune, anticipating and counteracting her often-baffling quirky mood swings, pacifying her frustrations, applauding her little achievements over-enthusiastically, laughing merrily when she plays cute and savouring tender moments together. You still there?). Thus when the little one flutter her eyes closed to meet the sandman, I very much prefer to rot on my couch and just spend some quiet time with me, myself and the man. So by choice, the social calendar is unfashionably bare of late and not because I can't afford the time. 

Maybe it is the age too. Intimate get-togethers where I can bask in easy conversations and familiar closeness definitely sound more appealing than making efforts to forge new friendships. The mere thought of it already rings tiresome to me. Since the friends here either have a young family or are in the process of starting one, their precedence is an obvious one. Thus, the social front is naturally less colourful than ever.

Incidentally, I am not sad that I am not out there to see and to be seen. Let's just say merrymaking hard for a long while before I went over to the west side does not bring forth the need to make up for lost societal time. My complacency is ridiculously hermit-like, so much so that the man joked if I have the opportunity at all to don those clothes and shoes I bought online. I merely shrugged in reply. One never knows when occasions arise where decent garbs are a prerequisite. Hence, handbags and glad rags must still be had for this social-less butterfly.

So if you have this nagging suspicion that you do not belong to the inner circle because you haven't heard a word from me for a while, for a very long while in fact, then your intuition is probably right. Muahahahaha....