My first book review

Parenting is an immensely rewarding yet demanding and energy-draining job. While it doesn't exactly have to be rocket science, there is most certainly nothing child's play like about it. The constant nagging ambivalence whether I am a good mother, role model, teacher, friend, safe habour, coupled with tormenting anxieties if we are making the right choices for our daughter make me ponder ceaselessly if my limited imagination and wit will ever lead me to pull off this whole breeding stunt successfully. However you want to define 'successfully'

When Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, a parenting memoir, was offered to me by the friend, I thought the timing couldn't be better.

Despite waves of negative reviews about the unusual style of child rearing, I find the book a fitting read for someone like me who is still grappling with the whole concept and idea of parenthood. Sure, it is not exactly a how-to guide but who cares? Plus I needed some dosage of humor to dispel my parenting anxiety.

A candid and self-mocking coming-of-age memoir, it is the third book written by Amy Chua, a Chinese-American Yale law professor, whose traditional and incredulously strict and harsh Chinese parenting method did not always sit down well with her two daughters, especially her younger one.

To prepare her girls for their future, she imposed math and spelling drills, piano and violin practice for hours on end each and everyday. The girls were not allowed to go on playdates or sleepovers, no television and computer games. And the Tiger Mother's punishingly high expectations do not accept any grade lower than an A. She declared, 'What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it.'

Her child nurturing journey is naturally not without difficulties. With an inevitable clash of cultures, many drilling sessions manifested into screaming and bitter episodes. Even her usually obedient and submissive elder daughter did not hold up well to the crushing authoritarianism. Her husband's well-meaning but feeble interventions only served to further resolved Chua's determination to do the parenting job her way. Until her 13 year-old daughter rebelled.

Many are indignant and left speechless by Chua's extreme child rearing techniques. One went as far as to calling her a monster. True, she is extremely hardcore and her sometimes-cocky maternal ruthlessness and confidence maybe hard to swallow. But like all parents, she only wants the best for her children.

Rather than nitpicking, I decided instead to concentrate on the positive aspects of the book. Throughout the book, it didn't fail to strike me that mere mortals like me would have taken the easy way out and let the girls be so as to avoid all the inconveniences of 'epic battles' or 'showdowns' Yet, despite her busy work schedules and commitments, Chua's unflagging strength, brutal determination and clever resourcefulness to plod on against all odds; her fierce dedication to relentlessly push her girls to practise, practise, practise just so they could achieve mastery in any subjects of study; and her unnatural little requirement of sleep, have all but inspired my awe and respect for this tough woman.

There are no questions that these qualities were results of her own strict upbringing which she sees as 'a great success story' Therefore, it's only natural for her to want to instill these attributes of strength and perseverance in her girls in order for them to reach their full potential in life's work and that giving up halfway is never the answer.

Chua's elder daughter, Sophia, sums it up best:

'To me, it’s not about achievement or self-gratification. It’s about knowing that you’ve pushed yourself, body and mind, to the limits of your own potential. You feel it when you’re sprinting, and when the piano piece you’ve practiced for hours finally comes to life beneath your fingertips. You feel it when you encounter a life-changing idea, and when you do something on your own that you never thought you could. If I died tomorrow, I would die feeling I’ve lived my whole life at 110 percent.

And for that, Tiger Mom, thank you.'

In spite of my admiration for the author, I can never and will never be a Tiger Mother. Like Chua, I do wish my daughter greatness and success too. But I just can't ignore the compelling feeling that while achievements maybe great, they are not everything and certainly not the endgame in life. There is more to life than that and that is for her to find out when she grows up.

I strongly believe as a mother, my role is to ensure my child has a happy and fun childhood and at the same time to guide and help her grow up as a well-rounded, well-adjusted, responsible, compassionate, happy, honest and good person. Looks like someone has got herself a full plate....

Well, whoever says parenthood is easy?