A late dream

I tried rereading my last post minutes ago. Yes, I do that sometimes and I have a feeling I am not alone in taking this little ego trip once in a while. So I was saying, I was rereading the last post and I had to stop after a few sentences because the unfortunate entry was terrifyingly boring that even I, as its guilty author, couldn't stand to finish reading it, what more the readers of this blog? Which entails me to genuinely pity them, provided there is any left by now.

How did I manage to get so suicidally boring? That is not to say I wasn't boring in the past but since I hardly ever receive any criticism, whether constructive or not, I presume no news is good news. Or perhaps I am just being self-deceivingly positive. I almost forgot that this blog is quite akin to an undiscovered virgin island shrouded in a cloak of mystery in the choppy waters of blogosphere. Ok, I am romantising things here because I can't help it and I digress.

What I am trying to say is, I am fully aware how awfully few readers this blog has. That is decidedly no gratification to the already vulnerable ego. But I ain't complaining because the only reason why I construct this blog to be as invisible as possible is I am truly and painfully self-conscious of my own writing. So there you have it, my naked soul.

Which brings me to the next question. Why do I continue to blog? Well, this may sound cliche but I got hooked on writing when this blog was born. And like many countless bloggers out there, I imagine one day my insufferable amateurish scribble would be read and being curiously appreciated by someone and get published somewhere, even if it's an unknown publication which no one has ever heard of before.

Don't ask me how on earth would someone like that get to read my scribble when this blog is as secluded as the aforementioned virgin island. I haven't figured that out yet. But when I have, I will let you know.

You might say how dare I dream such big dreams. Just look at the rubbish I write, it's neither professional, entertaining nor informative. No on will ever pay attention to what I have to say or write.

Well, for a start, no matter if it will ever come true at the end of the day, it doesn't hurt to have a dream. Secondly, (another cliche!) dreams keep us alive! Some people don't even have dreams, sadly. As much as I am a dreamer, I am also a very practical person. I predict it will take me at least ten years before that big day will arrive, if ever. Why ten years? Ten years is the politically correct time frame for one to graduate from a novice to a reasonably qualified scrawler. Just look at any successful cooks, doctors or craftsmen, it took them years and years of sharpening their skills and improving their expertise in their field before they got to where they are right now. For me to get there, I need to put in a plenitude amount of hard work and strive to read extensively and to write as often as I can, preferably everyday, through all of which I hope I will eventually find a voice and style that I can call my own. That sounds simple enough. But if you have been following this blog for a while, you would have noticed that diligence and self-discipline aren't exactly my strengths. I do try my best nonetheless, irregardless if I have the writer's block or if I am running out of things to write.

Now you understand why the ridiculous previous post. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. This space has become my training ground. Thus, do bear with me if you can. Thank you.