Monster Inc.

This happened last year or sometime before that. Somehow Mr. Rieger needed to write a sms using my nokia phone. Since he is a non-nokia user, he couldn't figure out how to go about sms-ing. Out of frustration, he threw my mobile onto the sofa. I flipped.

Second incident happened few days ago. I called Mr. Rieger in the office to help buy some groceries for me after his work. I needed them for the pot luck party at home the next day. He came home without the eggs. He apologised and said I could always get them the next morning. Reasonable enough but I flipped again. I wanted all the ingredients to be ready as I was going to be real busy the next day. He then drove 10 mins to his parents to get some eggs (shops were closed by then) and 10 mins back. I was so ashamed of myself.

I am bloody guilty now while writing this. I just cannot understand why I can be so evil to the one whom I love and to whom I vow to spend the rest of my life with. I am supposed to be the loving partner. Yes, no one can be nice and loving 24/7. But at times, this dreadful monster just overcomes me and I can be such a bitch for no apparent reasons. There must be something very wrong with me... Like jekyll and hyde. Yet I can't make empty promises that I will change because I know myself so damn well. I will change when the leopard changes its spots.

Am I the only one left on this earth behaving in such a ridiculous way? I am quite certain there are others like me. They could be those whom I see day in day out, hang out with, party with, work with... It's just that we are all hiding behind our masks and no one can tell which one is Mr Hyde or when he is coming...

For the time being I should perhaps do more yoga. Exhaaaaaaale........ Inhaaaaaaale........